Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
how do you play pong handcuffed?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
