i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
