Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Randomize
