I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
