Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
