My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
