I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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