New low: just hacked my moms facebook
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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