Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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