My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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