I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
