Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
someone owes me an orgasm
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
