I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize