dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
