I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize