I think my vagina is haunted
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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