they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
