How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
