please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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