Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I want a musical about memes.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
