I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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