I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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