So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
