My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
honey bunches of taint.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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