So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
