i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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