she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Randomize
