No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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