His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
