who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
