Pants 0. Shit 1.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
