I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
