its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
