i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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