Cold hands, warm shart.
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
