when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Boobs speak an international language.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
