Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just forgot I was standing up.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
