i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
did i just pee glitter
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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