Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
