Sponge bath it is.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize