I'm really into asian looking animals
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
