Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
