dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Im part way to drunk.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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