Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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