i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
