so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
