I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
