Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
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