Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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