I think I won the penis lottery.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
