Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(640): View more from

I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Jerry, you need to find god

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(504): View more from Louisiana

dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?

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(847): View more from Illinois

stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever

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(701): View more from North Dakota

So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster

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(734): View more from Michigan

we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas

(810): View more from Michigan

I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"

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(518): View more from New York

No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.

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(416): View more from Toronto

He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.

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