i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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