so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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