It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
