chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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