Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
