Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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