I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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