You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize