At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
