Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
